No Regrets
by TrnshdHalo94
Summary: Set after Hero's. Sam wants to change her life after the death of her Best Friend


It had been almost three weeks since Janet's death, yet it felt like only yesterday and like forever at the same time. Sam just couldn't seem to get her head around it. She missed her best friend so much. Her confidant, the one she always went to with her problems. SG-1 was on down time while Jack recovered from the staff blast he took during the battle with Anubis. She just didn't have the desire to go to work. She didn't want to be in her lab. She was still shell shocked at how close she came to losing everything she loved in one day. She lost her best fried and almost her colonel too. She didn't know quite what to do with herself right now. Sam just sat there in her darkened living room sipping her wine and trying to get the images out of her head. Something had to give, something needed to change. She needed to decide what she wanted out of her life because it could be over all to quickly. Sitting there she finally decided she needed to talk to someone, she needed to vent before she imploded.

Grabbing her keys and her coat she headed out the door. She knew that driving was probably not a good idea after the wine but she was to preoccupied to really care. So she got in the car and started to drive. Intending to go to Daniel's to talk and maybe just cry, like she hadn't already done enough of that for a life time in the last couple weeks, she was surprised when she found herself outside the colonel's house. It was late and she wan't even sure if he was still up she was about to turn away when the door opened without her even knocking. He just stood there looking at her. Neither of them quite sure what to say.

Jack could tell she was upset and that she had been crying. Without really thinking about what he was doing he pulled her to him in a hug. 

She willing went to his arms and started to cry the tears she didn't know she still had to cry. It felt so good to have someone to comfort her. To have strong arms around her to hold her up. She never realized how much strength she got from him, but it was always her colonel, her Jack that could make her feel better. Without a word he seemed to always know what she needed like he could read her soul and see into the depths of her mind. Somehow he had led her to the couch and sat her down without her realizing an without ever letting her go. 

They sat like that for what seemed like forever when Jack finally broke the silence "you wanna talk about it?" Sam didn't know where to begin, there was so much she wanted to say. So much she needed to say. 

"I wouldn't know where to begin" it came out in a whisper, still laced with long since gone tears.

"How about from the beginning."

"Jack," she wanted to tell him all the things she was thinking all the things in her heart, but she didn't know if she should. Sam didn't want to leave this world with regrets and knew she would, but she didn't want to burden him either. Just when she was about to chicken out and get up to leave Jack spoke. 

Tightening his hold an Sam, "you have something to say I can feel it. So just say it. I'm here for you you know that. Sam I am your friend, talk to me."

"I love you."

Jack was a little taken aback by what she said but kinda figured that was where this was going. He had been battling the same need to tell her since he woke up in the infirmary. 

"I know Sam, I love you too. But that isn't all of it is it. What is it you really want to tell me?"

Sitting up and turning to face him, the silent tears had started to fall again as she finally started to speak.

"Jack, I don't want to die like Janet. I don't want to die with regrets. Without doing th ethings I have dreamed about but never hed the courage to do. I don't want to die without knowing what it is like to live first." The tears were streaming down her face even faster now. But she pressed on. "I want the dream Jack. The white picket fence the 2.4 kids the loving husband. I want it all. I don't want to wait anymore, and if that means I have to give somethings up to have them I will. I will resign go to another team what ever it takes. Because in my heart I know I only want those things if they are with you." She was near sobbing now but wasn't even attemping to wipe away her tears. "I need you and I don't want to wait any longer. This war may never end, and if we wait I may never get my dream. I wan the dream Jack." 

Jack was speechless. He knew sam was upset but he never expected for her to say what she did. None the less, he wanted the dream too. He just smiled at her and pulled her into his arms again. Placing the gentlest of kisses on her lips. 

"Then you will have the dream Sam. I will do anything to make you happy, I love you."

He kissed her again, Not the kiss of passion but of love and understanding. 

While it she still mourned the lose of Janet and would for a long time to come. Sam knew in that one moment that she would be alright. That her life wouldn't have anymore regrets. That no matter what lay in her future, she and Jack would face it together.

"I love you Jack."

"And I you Sam, always."


End file.
